every man on the face of this earth is a bastard!

.......i would try chicks.....but it's the same fucking path.


dear universe send me a single man i love and appreciate that can give the same love and appreciation back.

yes all i use this thing to do is bitch it's true.


I'm soooo fucked because of you. I have so many horrid complexes because of what happened between us. I think i'm fat (which i'm not). I think i'm ugly as sin (which i'm not). I think i don't deserve better (which i do). What the fuck man. Just one guy could love me back. Just one. I don't wanna be your fuckin trophy. I don't wanna be an accomplishment. I want to love and be loved back and for things to work. This is not worth it anymore. All i am to you is a goal and a replacment and a rebound.


I want to be the girl you can't get over just once.

is it possible for someone to love me?

Stop fucking with my head!

Fuck being tall and fuck being smart. I want to be short and stupid. Maybe then guys would wanna keep me around.

i like him........i've gotten past the point of bored now i like him. NOOOOOOO not good. I need to somehow get out of this. He lives to far. There is no way anything could ever be good between us. I don't think we could be anything more then what we are without my feelings getting hurt.


GRRRRRRR i need to stop liking anyone i just get in trouble.

me: hey veronica look at your phone.
v-ron: why nothings on it.
me: oh fuck seriously

sent messages
"dude don't feel bad i've been upset for weeks cause i'm tired of being the fucking rebound for everyone plus i really miss jake."

sent to adam





i fucking hate my life.........GAHHHHHHHHHHHH

like a cat......for no reason.

of the situation i'm in


i know it's not gonna be anything ever

i want something fucking solid


DEAR GOD JUST GIVE ME A SIGN THAT ONE DAY I WILL BE WORTH THE WHILE TO STICK AROUND FOR!!!!!!!!
or at least someone will realize i am.......CAUSE I FUCKING AM!!!!!!!!!11



god i suck all i post in this thing are angsty horrible thoughts. i swear i'm a happy person most of the time.

head ache
too much coffee
skin care in class......boring
distance problems but at the same time it's nice


i'm happy but i'm tired and want to be done with school way sooner then it's going to take :(

you said you never wanted to hurt me.
you never wanted to make me cry.
you wanted to be in this for the long haul.
and millions of other things i would rather not say out loud.

i don't want anymore lies.
i want the truth.
i want someone to stay just once.
i want to say i love you and hear someone else say it with just as much meaning.


apparently i can never have these things.
this does not exist for me.
it get's easier and easier to not feel every time.
i hate you

the fact that it's over

or the fact that i know it won't ever be again



i don't think i'll be okay

my world is crumbling and i dunno what to do. i wish i could convey how strong my feelings are for him but i'm sure it would just push him away. why does this happen every time. it's bullshit i should be able to show how i feel without being afraid of scaring someone away.


can someone please just love me......just once



god damnit i'm lame

Last night he played this song for me and he said it reminded him of me. It's originally done by the smiths but i recommend the (if you wanna check it out) the ghost mice version which is the one he played. That or the anberlin version.....yes i'm that lame sometimes.




Take me out tonight
Where theres music and theres people
And theyre young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I havent got one
Anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and i
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please dont drop me home
Because its not my home, its their
Home, and Im welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I dont care
I dont care, I dont care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and i
Just couldnt ask)

Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I dont care
I dont care, I dont care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I havent got one, da ...
Oh, I havent got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Oh, there is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out

"please get some sleep i don't like the idea of you swerving in your car cause you're sleep deprived"

"I'll drive like a grandma for you."


I seriously have never ever in my life been so nervous around any one person......until now.

I just realized all the plans we made for turning 21 together aren't gonna happen. it's stupid cause i still get withdraws from you even though your an awful person.

I see how it works now. You go for whats easy instead of what is better.

Guess you'll never have me then ;)

has anyone breathe ever smelt so good to you that you felt faint?

just wondering

i'm really pissed that someone could do this to another person. how can you just leave with no word? i wish you knew how much you hurt me. your a prick and i have enough problems without you leaving this shit on my doorsteps. FUCK YOU I HOPE YOU ROT IN SAN FRAN!!!!!

i was gonna right some fucking lame ass entry about "why do i suck so bad to the point that none of the dudes i like like me back in that way" but then i thought about it. I'm an alright chick and i have gotten a few of the dudes i like. So fuck it merry fucking christmash mother fuckers I'M DRUNK! I'll probably delete this tomorrow when i'm sober hahahahahahahahahahahahaahaha.


also thank god for spell check!

Fuck you,
you took what you wanted and left, like locusts.
everything I gave to you, everything that we've been through
you bled me dry and then left, like leeches.
go, you got what you could now leave, like vultures

ripped apart in minutes what was built in seven years
the ink scarred on your back may as well of disappeared
for as long as I remember, you sold everything you owned
but now you sold our friendship, you're on your fucking own.


sleep with one eye open
sleep with one eye open

(because)

If I had it my way I'd slit your throat with the knife you left in my back
all the shame, all this guilt, all this regret, that's me
I'm inside of you
I'm inside of you
I'm inside of you
I'm inside of you
and this is your world
fucking falling apart mate, from the inside out.
everything will fall at your feet - you got hell to pay
you got hell to pay

and you better fucking bow down to me
you better beg for mercy
get on your fucking knees and cry me a fucking river

sleep with one eye open
sleep with one eye open
best friends means forever
best friends means forever, cunt